Honeymoon As Wedding Gift?

My fiance and I are getting married in October. We don’t want to register for gifts as we already have many things we need- in fact in many cases we have double! What we are hoping is to ask for contributions toward our Disney World honeymoon instead of gifts. I am wanting to hear from real couples who have done this… did it work? Did you feel that you offended anyone? How did you get around the issue of offending anyone? If you don’t mind, how much of your total honeymoon was paid for?



12 thoughts on “Honeymoon As Wedding Gift?”

  1. First of all, congratulations!
    There are several honeymoon registry sites on the Internet, and we used one for our wedding.
    After signing up for the service, you choose a destination and specific events that you’re interested in during the honeymoon. These aren’t binding (in other words, you’re not obligated to do these events).
    When you send out your invitations, you can include a card that gives them the address of your registry, or you can simply give them a web address for your wedding website which can link to the registry.
    They let your guests gift specific events for your big trip. They are simply given a list of events that you chose, such as scuba diving lessons or 1 night at a hotel, and when it’s done, they cut you a check minus around 7% for their bottom line. After that, you’re free to spend (or save) it as you see fit.
    It’s essentially a more classy way of getting cash as gifts for your wedding, and you can spend it on your honeymoon or use it to help cover wedding costs. In the end, money is just money, and services like thebigday.com don’t force you to go on a specific trip.
    Many cultures also embrace the idea of a monetary gift. In Asia, it’s often known as a “red envelope” gift to get the young couple started. The advantage of the red envelope is that there isn’t some intermediary company taking 7% of your gift for themselves. However, those who aren’t familiar with it might not be able to adapt comfortably, and the honeymoon registry is a nice way to make everyone happy.
    We had a traditional registry, as well, but everyone seemed more interested in the more-meaningful honeymoon gifts.
    We only got one or two “old school” wedding gifts, including a little flatware and some other stuff. Most guests will want to make you happy rather than impose their idea of the perfect gift upon you and saddle you with unused stuff.
    It’s a matter of opinion, but some find it’s more romantic for guests to help you make memories with your spouse rather than fill up your home with unwanted materialistic gifts like the mismatched dishes and always-popular re-gifted breadmaker.
    As for the cranky old-schoolers and naysayers who also responded, there’s no obligation for guests to participate. The whole wedding registry concept is pretty old, dating back to 1924 with the old Marshall Fields stores, so a honeymoon registry seems perfectly in line.
    It’s YOUR big day, so hopefully you won’t let someone else (friend, planner, sibling, or angry web poster) impose their values on you and tell the “right” or “wrong” way to do it.
    Good luck!

  2. I also think it is a great idea! We are planning on doing it as well for our October wedding!
    To avoid offending anyone, we are also doing a conventional registry for those who probably would not care for the idea.
    There are several websites you can do it on…they charge you nothing, but when your guests go to checkout, they charge a tax {about the same if you bought something in the store} which is how the company makes their money. Then, when you are done…they write you a check for however much your guests gave you.
    We are going to make a wedding website with our pictures, etc on there so guests can visit {and have a link to the honeymoon registry on there}.

  3. My cousin did this, and everyone thought it was a great idea. Instead of including a registry card with the invitation, they had a small card that said something like “In lieu of gifts, please make a donation to help pay for the honeymoon!”
    No one should be offended, this is easier than buying a gift and way more useful for you.

  4. We have done this for our wedding in March. We actually found a travel agent that offered a honeymoon registry. They are doing it for no extra charge so no one is out of pocket. This also reassures our guests that the money is actually going towards the honeymoon.
    We have mentioned it to many of our guests and they think it is a great idea.
    I say go for it. Good luck!

  5. This is incredibly rude on multiple levels. First of all, it is always rude to ask for money. Secondly, it is always rude to tell people what you want as a wedding gift. And thirdly, the honeymoon is supposed to be paid for by the groom. It’s part of his gift to his bride. Don’t mess with tradition. It’s there for a reason.

  6. Mrs To Be’s answer about a honeymoon registry at a travel agent is a nice idea. Just to clear up what a bunch of people are saying- registry cards go in a SHOWER invitation, not wedding invitation. And if you’d like this instead of gifts, a shower might not be appropriate. We were very very lucky, his parents paid for our whole Disney World honeymoon as a gift. Disney honeymoons are awesome 🙂

  7. We tried that, but didn’t work. People borught whatever gifts they wanted to regardless and some did contribute, but not enough. We got a total of $500 in money and that was it and tons of gifts.
    This is just how it winds up working most of the time. I hope it works for you, but don’t count your chickens before they are hatched.

  8. I think its a great idea.
    try here:http://www.thebigday.com/http://www.honeyfund.com/HowItWorks
    To get around offending people. I know folks always but the regestry card inside with the invitation. Do the same with this- maybe get some business card size paper- That say we are registerad at …blah..blah..blah…and thats it. People do it for regular Target or Macy’s gifts- why not a honeymoon? Also provide a wishing well at your reception for those that forget to buy you something but want to make a cash contribution. When people have options. They’ll likey choose one or the other.

  9. I wouldn’t do it. You can’t designate to your guests that you want them to pay for your honeymoon. You will get cash and checks at your wedding. Most people give them in cards. Just register for things you will use for your shower.

  10. I’d feel uncomfortable to ask guests to fund a honeymoon trip. If you really want this, I suggest to only ask close family members to help as a part of your wedding gift.

  11. It’s not proper etiquette to use your wedding as an opportunity for a shakedown. Even though it is the custom for gifts to be given to couples who wed, it’s not appropriate to ask for or expect them. Even though a lot of people do this nowadays, it is tactless, common, and tacky. If you don’t wish to receive gifts then it’s all right to mention that in your invitations but please don’t use it as an opportunity to beg for money. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. It’s neither classy nor dignified. If someone were to offer, on their own, to help pay for your honeymoon, (usually only parents would do such a thing) that would be another story. Asking for it, though, is rude.
    Try to remember the real reason why you’re inviting your guests to your wedding. You want them there to help you celebrate this joyful occasion (I hope), not to milk them for every penny.

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