How To Compromise On How A Big Of A Wedding To Have?

6 May 2009 5 Comments

Me and my boyfriend want a small wedding. Thinking a destination type, in Hawaii or such and I’m sure it wouldn’t be more then 5 thousand. My family is very small consisting of my grandparents and my mother. My grandmother unfortunatley has alzheimer’s, in the late stages and needs an attendant full time. She’s like a mother to me so it is extremely important that she attend even though she doesn’t know who I am and no longer speaks. She would need an attendant with her though, as we can’t take care of her by ourselves and me and my boyfriend would pay for her to come. I really don’t see or speak to my extended family except if I see them at a wake or funeral so I don’t see a point in inviting them, plus I doubt they would pay the money to fly and stay over. I really only stay in touch occasioanlly with 2 childhood friends so I could invite them or keep it strictly family. I’m not even sure they would attend and I won’t be having a bridal party. I was considering asking one to be my maid of honor since she asked me to be hers even though her wedding never went through. My boyfriend was thinking something bigger like Walt Disney which is close to 15 grand and way too much in my opinion. He also wants an engagement party but I don’t want one. I mean for that I could invite all my extended family but still I don’t feel the need but he wants presents lol. So how to we compromise?

5 Comments »

SirenSon said:

Since you are the ones getting married and hopefully paying for it yourselves, you decide how big or small the guestlist is. First you said he wants a small wedding like you, then you say he wants one that is bigger. Which is it? Marriage is about compromise and the wedding planning is a great place to start practicing since you will have bigger issues than this in the future that you won’t always agree on.

# 6 May 2009 at 9:14 am

Liz said:

Tell him weddings disguised as gift grabs are tacky, and you positively refuse to marry a tacky person.

# 6 May 2009 at 9:14 am

darling nicky said:

invite the friends, id say.
er, rather, my advice would to invite every person you’d be super upset if they missed your wedding. So if you could go either way with the friends, invite em, its just 2 people.
i’d say go for the engagement party, and pack a freakin grandstand if he wants but keep the wedding, like I said, for close relatives/ friends.
and Hawai’i is much more romantic than disney, id do hawai’i just for that reason alone!

# 6 May 2009 at 9:14 am

<3 said:

Well it seems that your gram is really important to you. But unfortunately she has and advanced stage of Alzheimer’s disease.
1: I would have an engagement party, without inviting your extended family. Just your immediate family, and his immediate family.
2: Have a very romantic wedding with your gram, immediate family, and his immediate family.
3: Honeymoon at Walt Disney Land or World which ever one is closer to you.
I think that’s a good compromise. good luck.

# 6 May 2009 at 9:14 am

supergoo said:

Honestly you sound like me. We went through the same issue so we compromised. We are having a initimate wedding with about 30 guests (20 more than I wanted). We will have everyone at our outdoor wedding and reception then we are immediately going on a cruise after to celebrate. This way it will be safer for his grandmother too (closer to medical attention if she needs it.)
We have kept our wedding budget at $5000.00. Which is possible. You just need to know EVERYONE wedding involved bargins (sites, caterer, florsit, baker). You have to remember this is his day too. If he really wants disney you can still add a disney theme in to the wedding planning just not at disney. What ever you decide good luck.

# 6 May 2009 at 9:14 am